


Sacrifice

by MissReylo



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 02:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14760969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissReylo/pseuds/MissReylo
Summary: Ryan kicked against the ball that bounced against the wall. The sound echoed through the TARDIS. He knew Graham was in the next room, doing whatever the hell he did in his spare time. He waited for the usual: “Ryan, cut it out!”, but it never came.Normally he would be overjoyed. Graham’s nagging annoyed the hell out of him. Now? Now it hurt. He wanted everything to be normal.





	Sacrifice

The Doctor sighed loudly, staring at herself in the mirror. She had gotten dressed in clothes that humans would find more decent for times like these. Darker colours, not the bright eccentric clothing she usually trotted around in.  
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Yasmin asked. “Look, I can ask Graham to do it, he’s a surprisingly good liar and...”  
“Yasmin, it’s the least I can do,” the Doctor sighed. “It’s my fault that Y/N...”  
Her voice broke slightly and Yasmin flinched. She opened her mouth to say something to the alien in front of her, but she didn’t know how to explain to her that it wasn’t her fault, that this wasn’t what Y/N would have wanted.  
She couldn’t find the words.

Ryan kicked against the ball that bounced against the wall. The sound echoed through the TARDIS. He knew Graham was in the next room, doing whatever the hell he did in his spare time. He waited for the usual: “Ryan, cut it out!”, but it never came.  
Normally he would be overjoyed. Graham’s nagging annoyed the hell out of him. Now? Now it hurt. He wanted everything to be normal.  
He wanted to hear the sound of Y/N’s footsteps when she ran through the TARDIS, trying to find the Doctor to ask her some question about Time Lords.  
He wanted to hear her giggle with Yasmin while they polished each other nails or something.  
He wanted to hear her banter with Graham while they tried to cook something in the tiny kitchen of the TARDIS.  
“Ryan?”  
The Doctor was standing in the door opening. Ryan looked up. “Yeah?”  
“I’m going,” The Doctor said. “Is there anything... I don’t.”  
Ryan sighed. “I don’t know what you’re going to say to them, Doc, but just let them know that everybody really loved her. Y/N... she was a great girl. A friend to everyone.”  
“I will,” the Doctor promised.  
Ryan bit his lip and then remembered what he had found last evening.“Doctor, wait!”  
The Doctor frowned. “What?”  
“Remember when the TARDIS was almost set on fire?” Ryan asked her. “Y/N shared a room with me for a week. Longer than necessary, because we had so much fun watching movies every night. She put some of the stuff she managed to save from her room and I thought she took everything with her when she got a new room, but I found this last night.”  
He found the box under his bed. “A box filled with things Y/N collected. Little stuff that were important to her. I don’t know, maybe her family wants to have it.”  
The Doctor took the box from him. “I’ll give it to them. Thanks, Ryan.”  
“No problem, Doc.”

“Want some food? I got pizza?”  
Yasmin could barely hear Ryan’s voice through the bathroom door. She was blow drying her dark locks while trying to hold back her tears.  
“Save a slice for me!” she yelled back. She dried her hair a bit longer and then put the dryer away, staring at herself in the mirror.  
The Doctor still wasn’t back. She had parked the TARDIS in a park and had then left to go and see Y/N’s family. It had been hours but she still hadn’t pushed open the TARDIS’ door.  
A tear trickled down Yasmin’s cheek and she cursed. “I don’t have time to cry!”  
“And Y/N doesn’t have any more time. For anything,” the voice in her head said.  
That was enough. The little reminder that it really was over.  
That Y/N wouldn’t be there any more, to bring her tea in the evening or to talk to when they were in another alien jail waiting to be freed by the Doctor. No more cuddling in Yasmin’s bed when she couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares.  
Yasmin collapsed on the bathroom floor, wailing.

Graham paced through the console room. He had tried to do some reading in his bedroom but he just couldn’t concentrate. That had never happened before. He saw the words on the pages, but he had to read the same sentence over and over again before he could vaguely understand what the author meant.  
The door of the TARDIS opened and finally the Doctor appeared. Her blonde hair was a mess and just like this morning she looked like she was carrying the entire universe on her shoulders. Graham had never felt more helpless.  
“Hey,” he finally said.  
“Hey,” the Doctor answered. She closed the doors, sighing loudly.  
“So, how did it go?” Graham asked. He had no idea what to do. What to say to a alien who was centuries older than you and who had lost someone they so deeply loved?  
The Doctor had never admitted that she loved Y/N and Y/N had just giggled suggestively when somebody had asked her, but Graham knew. He knew that the two women had been madly in love. He had seen the brief touches, the knowing looks.  
And one night... Graham had woken up thirsty so he had left his room to go to the kitchen for a glass of water.  
And then he had seen the two of them.  
The Doctor had left Y/N’s room, not knowing that Graham had been standing around the corner, trying not to breathe. She had been wearing her pyjamas and that had been a very strange sight. Graham only ever saw her in those wide blue pants and the colourful shirts...  
Y/N had been standing there, laughing. She held the Doctor’s hand and Graham didn’t think she even knew that she was doing it. Softly their lips had brushed against each other and then the Doctor had left, a happy grin on her face.  
Graham hadn’t told anyone, he knew Yasmin and Ryan. The two biggest gossipers in the entire universe. He wasn’t going to tell them the Doctor and Y/N were in a relationship when they obviously were keeping it a secret.  
“Mmh,” the Doctor said, “it went all right. They bought the lie. That I was a teacher at her college and that she had died in a car accident. Kate... I asked Kate from U.N.I.T for help yesterday evening and she covered it all up. Y/N L/N died in a car accident. Not heroically. Not sacrificing. Just a stupid bloody car. Nobody will ever know what really happened.”  
Graham swallowed thickly. “But we’ll know. We’ll know that she died saving you. That she was a hero.”  
“Is that enough?” the Doctor asked him.  
“I don’t know,” Graham responded. “I really don’t know. But there’s nothing we can do about it now.”  
The Doctor nodded, sitting down on one of the many stairs in the room. She stared at the console and then she giggled. She giggled again and then she started laughing, but it sounded hollow.  
“It’s funny, Graham. Don’t you think? I’ve got it all. I’ve got a bloody time machine. I can go anywhere in time and space. There are so many people in the entire universe, anywhere and whenever, who wish they could have a TARDIS. All the possibilities. I’m like God. I can decide everything. I have all that power and still... I still can’t save Y/N. I can have worlds but I can’t have her.”  
She giggled again and then sighed loudly, burying her head in her hands. “Why? Graham? I wish... god, why did she have to sacrifice herself? For me?”  
Graham walked over to her and sat down next to her. Softly he put a hand on her shoulder. “Because she loved you.”


End file.
